12:50 press return

Results of today's quest for free medication: Bullshit! I am so fed up with calling places asking and begging for help, and im really sick of filling out paperwork and waiting for months on end only to not hear back from places, or get denied because I have lack of proof that I am poor. This world is falling apart and I no longer give a royal fuck. The rate I am going I will be dead before summer is even over. I am so sick of how people out there are able to lie and get SSI or disability and they have nothing at all wrong with them, and here I sit all messed up and I get turned away left and right. I guess I cannot expect the rest of the country to support my ass anymore, seems that compassion is no longer a human quality, and neither is philanthropy. We are a lost cause as humans and I hope everyone gets some nasty diseases they can't cure or treat, and I hope they all die a horrible, slow, and very painful death. I am growing more and more cold to the world, I am starting to not feel any emotion when I hear about people dying now. I now contemplate deeply how long I can continue this charade that everything is OK. I guess soon I will have to stop going on the video chat on camera because I will look too sickly and I hate sympathy, I have pity, and I know that is what I will get when people see me all sick in bed, or in the hospital. So yay I am 31 years old and all I have to look forward to is county hospice care once I reach that point... which could be soon.