Help me get back home!

Right now I am trying to raise $75 to get back up to Wisconsin for both a job and to get a tumor removed from my pancreas. Please make a donation to the right. I should of had the money all set from the last job I did but I got paid half up front, and when the job was complete the dude just disappeared on us leaving me short for the trip. So please I am begging anyone that sees this to help out. I have till midnight halloween to be able to have my funds together or I miss the opportunity.

Life in Florida

Well so far so good. Living here in Florida is amazing. The weather, the wildlife, the people, they are all great! I am now getting on the rental agreement with the trailer park I am staying in with my girlfriend. She asked me to stay here and wants to pursue a long term relationship with me. I guess life comes in funny packaging sometimes. The only gripes I really have is about the beer laws here. 40 ounce beers are illegal in Florida, you can only get 32oz or smaller, and no more gallon sizes for hard liquor, but you can buy from 7am till 3am and in Miami-Daed county you can buy 24 hours a day how about that shit! I am living in this very nice well kept double wide trailer in a private trailer park just outside Ocala, in the town of Silver Springs. I am about a block away from a decent gas station, and I can even walk into Ocala in about 20 minutes or so to get to wal-mart or other decent stores. I have yet to learn the town, and I still need to become a resident to qualify for the medical stuff, so I am still in need of those donations readers! I am sitting on a half stock of medicine and supplies, and will need to refill long before I am a resident. So please lend a hand with this crazy bastard so I can keep on living the dream.

Made it to Florida

Well I made it to Florida after 2 grueling days on the greyhound bus. And I just discovered the most fucked up alcohol laws. In Florida 40 ounces are illegal!!! WTF! I live on 40's so now I have to drink 32's. all alcohol must be 153 proof or lower and no larger then 32 ounces. and if you live in Tampa bay you cannot eat cottage cheese on sunday's haha how about that. Well things are going great so far. I am getting settled in. I will blog more later.

Moving

It is official now as I have a bus ticket for next monday night to head to Ocala, Florida. I am excited. I am unable to really post much right now I am getting shit ready to make my break from lame ass Wisconsin. This crazy nigga will have gone from west coast to east coast once this move is complete. Hit up http://stickam.com/deshi1978 for my awesome profile and to hear my latest freestyles.

Going to jail in Iowa

This is a story about the time me and the band tried to go to California, and I ended up in jail. Heading out from Wisconsin one early morning on a half ass planned trip to California, it was just like any other spontanious thing we have done as a band. It was cold as all hell it was the middle of January, and snowing slightly. We packed up the banged up car I had gotten from Neil's mum. The back story on this dodge aries k is a little strange too. His mum got side swiped by a semi truck and it messed up the driver side of the car pretty bad, but it was still driveable it just had no driver side window which made it cold in winter. So we load up this car with our crap and headed south into Illinois. Everything was going great till we got into Iowa. We were in Iowa City area on the interstate when we decided to stop for gas and coffee, and donuts. So we got our stuff and went to leave and there was a 4 way stop sign with a flashing light since it was a construction zone and the stop lights were not working. I stopped for a few minutes it was dead on a Sunday morning, and I remember stirring my coffee. We got about 300 feet down the road after I went and boom get pulled over. The cop was a total asshole and claimed the car did not look safe for highway travel, and he claimed I blew the stop sign. So he ran my license and oh man turns out I was suspended in Wisconsin and never was notified about it. So they impounded the car, took me to jail, and told the rest of the band I had no chance of posting to get released anytime soon. The cops then dropped off the band at the bus station. Meanwhile I was in a jail cell after being strip searched, and all this for a freaking misdemeanor. So I was in there for about 4 hours when I started to get high blood sugar from my diabetes, so I called for a guard and they came and took me to their medical unit. Well they did not know how to handle me because there was no nurse on duty. So instead they got a judge in there on a Sunday morning and he asked if I would pay a fine if they let me go so I said sure, and they let me go just like that. Well the police station was about 6 blocks from the bus station where they told me they took the band. So i ran all the way there and just as i ran up the bus was leaving with the band on it. Once again I was up shit creek with a turd for a paddle. I ended up getting a free ride from a cab driver over to the big truck stop that was up the road about 2 blocks from the impound where my car was at. I didn't have any money left so I had to wait till the band got back home before they could wire me some cash to get my car. So I spent a couple days living out of this truck stop and waiting for cash. Finally i get the cash from Curt but it was not quite enough. Lucky for me the woman working the impound lot covered the other 25$ i didnt have to get my car back. lucky for me I also had just gassed it up before i was stopped so I had a full tank. I bolted out of Iowa like a bat out of hell heading back to Wisconsin pissed off the entire time that my band mates and good friends just left me there so quickly. I forgot there was tollways on the way back so I had to keep stopping at rest areas to bum money off people there. Ran into one nice guy that gave me 20$ I was pretty happy, I was able to take care of the tolls and put more gas in to get home. about 6 hours after the impound lot I was crossing the border back into Wisconsin. I went straight for Neil's place to bitch them out. Well it was uneventful I got there and bitched and then we all got drunk n high and the next life story will be the 2nd attempt at the California tour with a different band about a month later. If you enjoy my stories please donate it keeps me motivated.

Another mediocre day

Today is well another mediocre day in my life. It is not bad, and not entirely the best day either. I am really looking forward to moving to Florida. Time to start over and get my ass back up off the ground. I guess so many people need to stop looking at the negative in shit in their lives. I see it every day in chat. They sit and complain about how shitty their lives are, or how repressed they are, when they really do not have it so bad as some other people out there. The grass is always greener and the grass is always deader, just depends on your perspective. Oh well. I am 2 weeks away from taking off and starting good things. I still need to get some cash today or tomorrow for some syringes and another bottle of the over the counter insulin but im sure things will pan out. Shouts to Vampire Nation for just being good people. Most of the people in that chat are down to earth and kind, and compassionate. Without them I wouldn't of made it this far.

Moving soon

Well I finally got the money pretty much all gathered up to move to florida. I still need to raise about $100 to cover some medications for the trip down there on the buss. I will be moving to Ocala, FL staying with this woman I met on the net. I am really excited about this now that it is able to actually become reality. Moving there will allow me to not live with family, and let me qualify for medical assistance and probably disability. I plan to get back to writing raps and recording more often so I can actually drop an album before I get old. Thanks to all who have been supporting me on this shit. So many people I thought were my dawgs were just players and bullshitters, but now I am smarter then that. I no longer believe even 5% of the shit people tell me online. The internet is a foundation for people to bullshit and pretend to be gangsta.

12:50 press return

Results of today's quest for free medication: Bullshit! I am so fed up with calling places asking and begging for help, and im really sick of filling out paperwork and waiting for months on end only to not hear back from places, or get denied because I have lack of proof that I am poor. This world is falling apart and I no longer give a royal fuck. The rate I am going I will be dead before summer is even over. I am so sick of how people out there are able to lie and get SSI or disability and they have nothing at all wrong with them, and here I sit all messed up and I get turned away left and right. I guess I cannot expect the rest of the country to support my ass anymore, seems that compassion is no longer a human quality, and neither is philanthropy. We are a lost cause as humans and I hope everyone gets some nasty diseases they can't cure or treat, and I hope they all die a horrible, slow, and very painful death. I am growing more and more cold to the world, I am starting to not feel any emotion when I hear about people dying now. I now contemplate deeply how long I can continue this charade that everything is OK. I guess soon I will have to stop going on the video chat on camera because I will look too sickly and I hate sympathy, I have pity, and I know that is what I will get when people see me all sick in bed, or in the hospital. So yay I am 31 years old and all I have to look forward to is county hospice care once I reach that point... which could be soon.

This sucks

Well today sucks ass. A person was supposed to be donating a significant amount of funds to me 2 days ago and still has not come through for me, and now I am getting sicker. With each day I now grow weaker, and my will weakens with me. I fear I am destitute. I fear only the failure, not death itself...

Day 1 of new blog

So this is my new blog site since wickedradio.org took a shit and went down due to lack of funding. Oh well I can't expect people to be compassionate in this world anymore. I have been trying to overcome all the diseases I have with little success. This summer has been better then usual, mostly due to the higher heat and humidity, those things seem to help most of my conditions. I recently lost all my medical assistance cause I can't seem to prove I am poor, go figure. I have been denied several times for social security disability, and SSI, they claim I am not disabled and that I should be able to work. Lately I have been thinking of trying to move back to either California, or to new territory uncharted to me in Florida. Either one seems to be nothing more then a pipe dream for me since I can't afford to just up and move cross the country. I accept donations on paypal with the email radio@wickedradio.org but there has been hardly any donations worth a darn coming in since I lost the website for the radio show. Now I am resorting to street begging it seems since there is no other options at the moment. I have filled out all paperwork yet again for the medical programs, disability, free clinic help, all that stuff and its all in the mail. I am sitting on just a few weeks of medication that will keep me alive, so if nothing happens by then I guess it is all over for me. I just have this blog now to get my story out there and hope that maybe just 1 person will read it and that change can happen to our system. Though I really doubt that will happen. I have a better chance of playing pick up sticks with my butt cheeks then I do of seeing change ever happen, or getting the benefits I need. Either way this is probably my last year on this planet since cold weather damn near does me in, and I am stuck it seems in Wisconsin for another brutal winter coming up. If it is anything like last year then this will be the worst I have ever felt. During the winter I spend nearly every week in the hospital. ER visits every other day, being admitted once or twice a month for various conditions i have. ok that is all I will put in this first post I may post several times a day or less it all depends. Please make a donation if you read my blog, every dollar adds up to saving my life in the literal sense.